i hate you because…

  1. Current Crush, I hate you because you're straight and out of my league.

  2. Current Crush, I hate you because you are asking me to help you get in my best friends pants

  3. Wife, I hate you because I think you care more about money than our marriage and our son.

  4. Current Crush, I hate you because you have a girlfriend and are out of my league. FML.

  5. Current Crush, I hate you because you keep on flirting with my best friend in front of me... and she's flirting back.

  6. Husband, I hate you because I don't actually have a husband. Ehh it's okay wine is cheaper anyways!

  7. Boyfriend, I hate you because you told people I was loud during sex. Well excuse me for having a good time...!

  8. Boyfriend, I hate you because every time you say "I'll call you tomorrow" you always end up calling me like a week later.

  9. Current Crush, I hate you because I don't want to have a crush...I don't have time...but UGH you're super cute. DAMN YOU HORMONES

  10. Friend, I hate you because you're so annoying and you never text me even though you're a phone whore.

  11. Best Friend, I hate you because you said I was a loser, but look at me now. Millions of followers and friends.

  12. Friend, I hate you because I USED to have huge crush on you, but when you told me you wanted to be more than friends, you called me by my sisters name....

  13. Current Crush, I hate you because you love him and now I am lying in the fetal position watching Nashville and eating cookie dough ice cream.

  14. Dad, I hate you because you won' let me date anyone bc you got a girl pregnant when you were 18. Thx.

  15. Current Crush, I hate you because I've liked you for 3 years and you still fail to notice :(

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