i hate you because…

  1. Sister, I hate you because your constantly stealing my things, like my phone, my shirts, my fiance, my shirts.

  2. Roommate, I hate you because i want my home back and you guys out

  3. Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because all you talked about 24/7 (even after sex) was Bernie Sanders. Dude, The guy's a politician not the second coming of Christ!

  4. Girlfriend, I hate you because you because you're so amazing and adorable but you'll never accept the fact that you are. Have some self confidence, you're perfect.

  5. Best Friend, I hate you because you literally just flat out lied to me when i asked if my bf was cheating.

  6. Best Friend, I hate you because you have to be better than me at literally everything.

  7. Co-worker, I hate you because you have a face like a week old pizza and you smell of cigarettes. And you should wash your hair now and again.

  8. Current Crush, I hate you because you're beautiful, adorable. and you make my world bright... even if you are satan.

  9. Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because you're really high-maintenance, have a stupid haircut and bad breath.

  10. Best Friend, I hate you because even if i go crazy mad at you, you still stay by my side.

  11. Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because you said you would always be there for me but when things got rough you left me for a slut.

  12. Boyfriend, I hate you because your too fucking perfect

  13. Boyfriend, I hate you because you're not a nice boy.

  14. Best Friend, I hate you because you're a wickedly naive degenerate and a myopic Internet-addicted, sub-literate simple minded mental midget.

  15. Friend, I hate you because you shoved your hand down my girlfriends shirt to show someone her bra. Excuse me I will fucking stab you.

  16. Roommate, I hate you because when I lost my cat you said it was dead.

  17. Best Friend, I hate you because you're an attention seeking wank

  18. Friend, I hate you because real friends don't type shit all over the internet about their friends.

  19. Girlfriend, I hate you because you slept with your boss just after we got engaged.

  20. Dad, I hate you because you yell at me for no reason and make me go to my room, yet my sister does the exact same thing and you don't even notice!

  21. Current Crush, I hate you because I like you and that makes me feel out of control.

  22. Friend, I hate you because you used me to get a boy. Now you couldn't care less about me because you have your boyfriend.

  23. Guy I Met Last Night, I hate you because you keep flirting with my girlfriend. You sir, need to back the fuck up.

  24. Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because you called me at 2:00 am to break up with me. A month later you called me at 2:00 am to beg me to take you back. Leave me alone you inconsiderate vampire!

  25. Boyfriend, I hate you because your everything I've ever wanted except for your looks.

  26. Ex-Girlfriend, I hate you because you have "lair full of shit" written all over you!

  27. Roommate, I hate you because you give too many fucks about whether people have had sex or not.

  28. Boss, I hate you because you are a effing miserable sloth.

  29. Friend, I hate you because you tried to steal my boyfriend and then asked if you could move in.

  30. Stranger, I hate you because you wrote a whole paper on how pathetic I am and read it out.

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